The sexless marriage is a real problem among couples in everywhere.As a result, they are just too burned out to have sex at the end of the day. Men, of course, are lending a helping hand more than before and have their own pressures at work. Put this all together and it's a recipe for a sexless relationship. Of course, there are those with physical ailments that prevent them from having sex, and they should consult a doctor.
As for the rest of you, who are just concerned that you've forgotten how to have sex because it's been that long, don't fret. For starters, it's like riding a bicycle. More importantly, you can overcome this problem and start having a passionate sex life that meets the needs of both you and your spouse. Here's what Johnson suggests to put the boom boom back in the bedroom:
Have the sex talk.
Like anything else, a good sex life starts with communication. "The marriages that survive are the ones that involve lots of conversation about each partner's needs (both inside and out of the bedroom)," writes Johnson in an e-mail. "Most couples don't communicate well about what they want during foreplay and sex." Quit requiring your partner to read your mind, and start speaking up about what you want and need.
Johnson encourages couples with whom she works to create a safe environment, where they both feel comfortable discussing anything - even sex - without worrying about being judged or starting an argument. Once you've begun listening to your partner - and really hearing what he or she has to say - without jumping on the defensive, you can start to have a real conversation about sex or anything else.
Rekindle your friendship.
Bet you thought I was going to write, "rekindle your romance." In a way, that is what I'm writing. But Johnson argues that love goes hand in hand with friendship. About 70 percent of sex, romance, and passion in a relationship is determined by the friendship the couple shares, writes Johnson. "Friendship is the basis of an emotional and physical attraction," she adds. "You have to like the person in order to want to feel romantic or be intimate with him or her." Try to reconnect as friends. Catch up at the dinner table, remember the good times and try to make new ones, and focus on the reasons you came to love this person in the first place.
